I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
