I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I fill condoms, not promises.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
