idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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