What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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