their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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