No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
