OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
