i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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