So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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