just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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