awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
