Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
