Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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