and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
