so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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