Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
