Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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