apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
