Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
