My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
