That's intense
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
