I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
