So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
