I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
