i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
