I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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