It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
