Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
