apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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