dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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