It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
