He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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