We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
