saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
