The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
