Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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