What a fucking waste of an outfit
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
