Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
