i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Floor bacon is actually really good
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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