ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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