so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
