You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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