you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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