Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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