so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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