VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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