My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
