tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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