He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
