i think i have two assholes
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
