Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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