she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
then he tried to convert me to islam
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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